Dear You!

How is life? I hope its going great. And by great , i dont assume everything is perfect at ur end. I'm only hoping that whatever u r dealing with right now in life, u r doing it with faith that everything is going to be okay!

Let me tell u about something which i really wish people could understand a little more. Yesterday i found the internet flooded with Arjun Bhardwaj's( a guy who committed suicide) facebook video where he had showed steps to commit suicide right before he actually committed one.

This was bound to follow with a lot of articles on depression, on filty rich spoilt kids, on parents who dont love their children much, a society that doesn't care, blah blah. Every platform is coming up with some sort of "gyaan".

But let me ask you, how many of us think abt these things on a normal day to day basis? Why there's only when the alarm rings that we wake up?

I am nobody to give some gyaan here. But i am here to make my point very clear and crisp. Almost everybody of us are going through some sort of mental stress . Its happening because we have become too obsessed with the competition to win against each other. In this whole process, the concept of "we" is diminishing to "me".

My dear friend, most of us are just too exhausted yet we are not broken. We dont need anyone to fix us. All we need is someone who can listen to us. Someone who can just be there with us to experience the silence as well the chaos we are struggling with. And each us must strive to become that "someone ". Each of us should start caring a little more and stop acting ignorant a little less. And that's how we need to take ourselves ahead.

We were not born to live alone. That's what the other side of the life is meant for. The purpose of this life is to love ; give love, receive love and most importantly be the love yourself. We are here to hold hands and walk together.

If all of us strive towards reaching our most loving state, then may be we would start to make a progress from "me" towards "we" .  Summing up with a quote by Jane Goodall- " Only if we understand , we can care. Only if we care , we will help. Only if we help, shall we be saved."


With love,
Nidhi.

Broken Car!

They'll tell you its not love
They'll claim they know love
Oh what an irony it is
When they themselves haven't reached the depth 

I wonder is there a scale
That supposedly measures love.
Oh how wonderful that would have been
If i was blessed with one.

What I had known though 
Was that love is beyond measures.
Its either there or not.
Its a warm hand on your heart,
You either feel it or not.

It doesn't make you nervous 
It doesn't make you shy
It makes you who you are
As if you are there painting your own sky.

Love grows deeper and deeper
Even if reciprocated from far
Only when it doesn't 
It stays there like a broken car.

Dear You!

Its been a while since I wrote to you. I was just thinking lately of writing something about the question which almost all of us have been asked in some or the other way by different people for different reasons i.e Why aren't you in relationship? Are you still single? If yes then why? And most of us , including you and me have answered by saying that we want to focus on our careers or that in the past we have been heartbroken so we dont believe in relationships anymore, etc and etc.

But tell me, is being in relationship or not being in one needs to be justified with only these types of cliched answers? Don't we have a choice to make , especially the women out here who are brought up with the thought of being weak and vulnerable and that our safety and honour is assured only when tied with a man, whether we want to remain alone or be with  a romantic partner? As soon as a woman reaches her first quarter of her age, she is bombarded with questions of marriage and relationships. She is told that now is the time and that you must settle with a man who will love and protect you. Really? Is it?

Today i want to ask you about it...do you really think that one should get into a relationship just for the sake of being in one? Or marriage and relationships are bounded by the age factor? Isn't it supposed to be a matter of our own choice and our own reasons.

So let me tell you about my own reasons for not dating somebody and not getting into a relationship with someone else. First of all I will clear the air that its not about my career or family reasons or a heartbreak that almost crushed my heart but couldn't break it( because hearts dont break, they get bruised and become better and stronger) . However, there are few reasons which I am sure you'll be able to relate and next time when people ask you this question,you'll  be able to answer them well and with confidence.

1) I Want To Make My Own Decisions -and till the time I dont find a guy who respects my self being and existence, stands by my choices if I'm right and guides me when I'm wrong instead of making issues, I want to remain single.

2) I Want To Explore Myself More - so that I'm clear in my head what i want and what i dont want from my relationship.

3) Long Lasting Relationship - I would want to make a life long commitment and sometimes being hasty in getting into relationships lands u up in heartbreaks and disappointments.

4) Organic Love- sometimes we end up experimenting with different people and dates hopin we would make a connection with one of them. But its also a fact that things are best when they happen organically. Sometimes the best love stories are formed on the foundation of best friendships which are least expected.

5) Love Freely - love is supposed to be free, its not something which must be done out of duty or formality because that is the surest way to kill it. And love is independent of relationships. When two people are in love, dating them or not hardly makes a difference.

6) Relationships Require Hardwork- a lot of compromises, sacrifices, energy and time is required to be put into a relationship and the result might not always be rewarding . So its better to wait for the one who reciprocates to your level of love and intensity.

7) Secured Partner- most importantly relationships are about equal partnerships dependent on mutual love and respect. Its not about one person becoming addicted and totally dependent on the other. Both the partners must be secured and sufficient in themselves and relationship must be able to uplift their lives rather than draining them of their energies.

Romantic relationships are beautiful and can prove to be one of the greatest parts of our lives but one must remember that this is not the only way one can experience greatness in life. Being in love, getting into relationships must be solely based on our choices and nothing else.

Signing off...till then keep smiling and have a great time.
Love,
Nidhi.

Dear You!

Here comes the end of the year...or I can say the rollercoaster ride where all of us in some way or the other saw various ups and downs as well as created some memories to live with. A year is a whole package that brings a number of closed envelopes which slowly and gradually open up when the right time comes in. These envelopes are like the box of chocolates ( sorry for tweaking my favorite dialogue from the movie Forest Gump,but hey that's fine with you right? ). You never know what you really get till you actually go through each one of these envelopes. We meet new people, go to new places, experience different emotions , go through happy moments , sad moments and even emptiness that feels nothing at all. We cry, we laugh, and sometimes we do nothing . But all of us go through them.

Let me start with my experience of 2016. This year has been a watershed in my life. This is the year where few things changed completely . This is the year where i took a step forward(which took a lot of courage i must say), i left few things , few people behind and from then, there has been no looking back for me. I would not call 2016 as a year because it has been more than that for me. It was a phase where i went from soul searching to re-defining myself. I started to realise that the whole universe is inside of me. The happiness, the contentment and the sense of fulfillment that i was looking for in places where i lost them and in people who took them away from me , was not the right thing to do.

I will not say that i have become a "gyaani" or a preacher who knows everything about life and associated emotions but atleast i have started the journey. Life is all about living and learning with each passing day. Its about being aware of yourself and everything around you more and more.

This year has been a silver lining for me not only because i made some progress towards my career but also because i finally found the love and light burning inside me which until now i had been searching somewhere else. What makes this year even more special is that i met a soul so different yet so similar to mine, a soul that i am looking forward to learn a lot from.

Till now you must have made an impression that my year has been on a good note ...but let me tell you that's not the case. This year had been a mixed bag giving me a rush of all sorts of emotions whether happiness, sadness, anxiety, emptiness, frustration, anger and the list goes on. The whole struggle that i had been going through in my personal life , the dilemma of holding on or letting go, was in itself the biggest cause of suffering for me. But what i did was i focused on the good part and sidelined the other. And my dear friend,this is the key to happiness.

We cant fret and crib over the things we didn't want or expect to happen. This is not how it works. Moreover, our lives would become completely boring if everything happened according to our wishes , just as boring as experiencing a same weather throughout the year. Let it all come in, think in your mind that come hell or high water, but i must go on.

All i want to say to You as the year is ending is that forget the things , the memories and the people that caused you pain. Forgive them if you can because that's the only way you can move forward swiftly and peacefully into the coming year. Let universe create some magic for you, let it build some bridges for you to cross over the hell. Let it help you find people who will love you for who you are,  let it help you make some new beautiful memories. But for that you must clear your shelf of all the past settled dust. Let it all go away. Clear your mind and heart of the grudges and pain that you are still holding on to. And witness some life changing and thrilling stuff unfurling in your life.

Meet you next time, till then keep smiling.
Love,
Nidhi.

Dear you!

I know its hard, its really really hard to cope up with the disappointments and heart breaks we have to suffer especially from the people we are fond of and have a soft corner for. Sometimes, we do tend to give a lot, not thinking about the outcomes . And thats not at all a bad thing to do. What's the whole point of loving and caring for people around you if you start turning this emotional channel into a business model.

Already the whole world is turning into a system of give and take. Isn't it really incredible that there still exit few special people like you who still have the courage to be kind and love people with all their heart? Isn't it magical to find people like you who still choose to spread happiness and support without any conditions? Well at least for me it is.

You know humans have their own ways and means to disappoint and hurt us. They'll always do it in some way or the other. But that shouldn't be a parameter to define who you are. You can't change yourself because others have. You can't  do that. Weak people do it but you are brave and strong.

Its okay if you didn't feel loved back, its okay if they didn't understand your value. It happens...happens with everybody...happens with me too. But be kind, keep practicing love ,keep loving people. You know when you speak with your heart, tell people how special they are, what they mean to you, that you love them and miss them...this doesn't make you small or weak, this only makes you a better and a more lovable  person capable of attracting more love and positive energy into your life. This is a very special quality of expressing your truest self which not all are born with and not all practice.

See you next time...keep smiling 
Love,
Nidhi.

Dear You!

In the contemporary period, love has become one of the most underrated and misunderstood subjects of (I would not say discussion because we hardly have time for it). Nowadays, we see people 'liking' or 'obsessing' about at least somethings in their lives . But we hardly see them falling in love. And even if they do, its quite unimaginable to see them staying in it . Love has become an illusion and an impossible theory. Basically, what's happening is we are all confused about it. Marriage, relationships, friendships have all started to take the form of conveniences and comfort.

But the greatness of love lies in the fact that somehow or the other we are all dreaming about it. Some want to fall in love, some want to run away from it. Some equate it with "cheesy -ness" and some still believe in fairytales. Some are thinking of it every second and some have no time to think at all. Some are trying to find it and some are busy denying it. Some confuse it with something as shallow as attraction and some just let it go out of sheer stupidity. The truth is , we all are the product of love. Our survival and existence is dependent on this four letter emotion called love. But in this fast paced world, we hardly have time for it. We hardly bother to think about it. But somewhere, deep down, all of us crave to experience the beauty and reality of true love. But in order to do this, its very important to understand what love actually is.

You need to understand that love is a free flowing positive energy between souls. Its a barter system of emotions, efforts and sacrifices. Love is the most powerful expression capable of bringing life-changing experiences in your life. But to know what love is, you must understand what love is not.

If it doesn't inspire you to become greater , its not love. If it doesn't make you happier, its not love. If it doesn't calm the storms within you, its not love. If it doesn't accept your bruises, its not love. Love will not leave you, it never does. And if it leaves, then, it never was. Love will not be there for your face or your body or your money. It will be there for the flame burning inside you which only love can feel. It will be there for your song you sing which only love can hear. It will be there for your deepest wounds which only love can heal. And it will be there for your hidden tears which only love can kiss. 

Love will not only make your heart skip a beat but will also whisper it to keep on beating. It will not only be an adventure ride for you but also your home where you'll feel protected, safe and nurtured ..Love will not make you feel bad about yourself. That's not love's job to do. It will not make you feel small or unforgettable. Love will make you feel worthy. It will make you feel as if you are the magic.

And the moment you realise its not love, in that very moment you need to get out of it.. Because the truth is, it was not love. Because love never dies, it has no expiry date. And as soon as you understand this, you need to get out of that trap wrapped under the illusion of love, because that can destroy you my dear friend.

You need to let go of people who don't know how to love you. These people are the most dangerous species on earth because they will make you hate love. They will confuse you so badly between love and themselves that instead of running away from them, you'll start running away from love. And that might be fatal to your existence , because our survival is dependent on love. Love, that has no boundaries like our souls. Love, that doesn't change the way its supposed to be felt but only changes its form. Love shouldn't feel different, whether its between a mother and her children ; a husband and wife ; a girlfriend and boyfriend  ; brother and sister ; a dog and his master ; and the list goes on. Love doesn't feel different my friend, its a feeling of contentment, fulfillment and pleasure. You must feel loved when you are in love.

So you gotta stop loving people who give you only pain, drama, and sufferings ; who make you feel worthless and non existent ; who make you question your identity and individuality ; and most importantly who make you feel bad about love. As soon as you realise this, just stop. Stop giving too much to someone who doesn't appreciate it. Stop compromising on your self respect. Stop wasting your energy and love for someone who is not worth it. Stop degrading your values and principles.

My friend, you must learn to differentiate between real and fake people, and not real and fake love, because love is always real. You just gotta find the right ones. And by right , i dont mean perfect or flawless people, i simply mean them who own and love their flaws and will love yours too..

And when you find someone like this- someone who wants to be there for no agenda except love; someone who holds your hand when everyone else leaves; someone who makes an effort to be there with you; someone who appreciates your best and accepts your worst; someone who sees your spark when you seem dull to the world; someone who guides you, motivates you and inspires you; someone who wants to hug you so tight that all your broken pieces join together ; someone who knows all your darkness and loves you anyway ; someone for whom you are the brightest star; someone who feels like a home to you; someone who knows all your weaknesses but never uses them against you; someone who loves you like no one else does - you must hold them tighter ,love them back harder and never ever let them go..

But for that my friend, you need to let go of the wrong ones. Your heart has already done that because it knows how to heal itself. It wants to be happy and healthy. But its your brain which needs a reshuffling; where you have locked all the memories. Remember, letting go is a matter of one moment. The moment you decide that you deserve to be free from the pain , the moment you decide that you deserve the kind of love that you are willing to offer,  that very moment you'll be free and ready to be loved like you have never been loved before.

Love,
Nidhi.